Teisel Bonne vs The Map
by Silver Unicorn
Summary: the title explains all, it's about teisal vs. the map from Dora the Explorer ** i sorta came up with this story but most cough cough partical all of the credit goes to my pal Sale**
1. Chapter 1: Map on the Loose!

Disclaimer: I don't own anybody except the Toilet Paper.  
  
Teisel Bonne vs. The Map  
  
Chapter 1: Map on the Loose!  
  
Set: TV Studio for Dora the Explorer.  
  
(Dora, Boots, Backpack, and the Map enter through a door)  
  
Dora: Phew! (Takes the mask she is wearing off to reveal that she is in fact a very short old man with a little girl's voice.) Sure is stuffy under that thing.  
  
Map: (insanely) I'M THE MAP!!!  
  
Backpack: Shove it, Map, we're off the air.  
  
Map: (sadly) I'm the map. Boots: (he is wearing flip-flops, by the way, and chomping on a pretzel rod like a cigar.) Come on, Backpack, let's go get a root beer. (Boots and Backpack leave.)  
  
"Dora": Oh great. I'm stuck with Map. I'm gonna go get an espresso.  
  
Map: Do YOU know which way the coffee shop is? ("Dora" points to the door to the coffee shop, which happens to be three feet away from them.)  
  
Map: Okay, I'll tell you! First, you have to. "Dora": CAN IT YEH PIECE OF PAPER! (walks into the coffee shop, followed by  
  
Map.)  
  
Coffee Shop Clerk: Ah, it's Dora the Explorer!  
  
"Dora": Shut up and get me an espresso.  
  
Map: I'M THE MAP! (Bounces behind the desk and into the kitchen, where there is an espresso machine on a counter.) Map.? (The Map now makes himself a large cup of espresso and drinks it all in one gulp.) MAAAAAPPPPP!!!! (At this point the Map is bouncing all over the place. In fact, he bounces right out the window.) Map: MAAAAAAAAPPP!!!!!!!  
  
(Meanwhile, the Gesselschaft is flying high above Kattelox Island. The Map flies onto the deck.)  
  
Map: I'm the map. (translation: Ow, that hurt.) (Map walks up to the door leading to the Gesselschaft interior. Next to the door is some kind of speaker.)  
  
Servbot's voice through speaker: Please input voice recognition password.  
  
Map: (Clears his throat. When he speaks again, he sounds just like Teisel.) Alright! That Blue Boy is going down! LET'S DO IT!  
  
Servbot's voice: Access granted. Welcome back Master Teisel!  
  
Map: (in his own voice) I'M THE MAP! (Bounces into the Gesselschaft.) 


	2. Chapter 2: Teisel Begins to go Insane

Chapter 2: Teisel Begins to go Insane  
  
Scene: Inside the Gesselschaft, where Tron, Bon, and Teisel are planning something. I don't know what they're planning though.  
  
Bon: Babuuuuu.  
  
Tron: Come on, Teisel, think! We have to think of a new plan sooner or later!  
  
Teisel: In a minute, I'll come up with something, don't you worry! (All of a sudden a lightbulb appears over Teisel's head. He looks as though he has an idea or something like that.)  
  
Tron: (notices lightbulb) Well that's a first.  
  
Teisel: I've got to tell everyone my ingenious plan! Gather the Servots!  
  
(Soon all 40 Servbots are gathered.) Servbot #35: Well what's your plan Master Teisel?  
  
Teisel: Well first we.uh.  
  
Tron: Well, Teisel, tell us your ingenious plan!  
  
Bon: Babu! (Translation: I like cheese!)  
  
Tron: Glad to see you're paying attention, Bon!  
  
Bon: Babu.? (Translation: Um.what were we talking about again?)  
  
Tron: Oh Bon Bonne, you're the best! (Hugs Bon)  
  
Bon: Babuuu. (I still want cheese.)  
  
Tron: So, Teisel, what's the plan? I can't wait to hear it!  
  
Teisel: Um.uh.I forget.  
  
(42 sweatdrops appear above the Servbots, Tron, and Bon.)  
  
Tron: Well, I have a better idea! First, we disguise ourselves as civilians and pretend to make friends with Mega Man. Then, when he least expects it, #1 can attack him in the Gustaff! What do you think?  
  
(The Servbots and Bon cheer.) Teisel: Hmph! I have a better plan that that stupid one YOU thought up! First, we disguise ourselves as civilians and pretend to make friends with Mega Man. Then, when he least expects it, #1 can attack him in the Gustaff! I'm so glad I thought of such a great plan!  
  
Everyone but Teisel: .  
  
Teisel: You know, Tron, you should be glad I'm twice as smart as you.  
  
Tron: Just wait and see, Teisel! Someday, I'll think up an ingenious plan and then I'll finally be able to marry Mega Man!  
  
Teisel: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?  
  
Tron: (sweatdrop) Uh.look over there, Teisel, it's a cheese omelet!  
  
Teisel: Where? (looks around.) Hey, there's no. (However, just then, he sees THE MAP.)  
  
Teisel: (sweatdrop) .Tron.do you see that.that.MAP over there by the computer?  
  
Tron: No, all I see is the espresso machine. I don't see a map at all!  
  
Map: (Singing) If there's a place you gotta go, I'm the one you need to know, I'm the map! I'm the map, I'm the map, if there's a place you gotta get, I can get you there I bet, I'm the map! I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the map, I'M THE MAP!!!!!!!  
  
Teisel: .No.the singing.make it STOP!  
  
Tron: Get a grip, Teisel, there is NO map in this meeting room! Remember, Bon spilled peach slushie all over the last one!  
  
Teisel: No, not that map.this one had a face.  
  
Map: (Jumps right on top of Teisel and knocks him down.) MAP!  
  
Teisel: AAURGH! GET IT OFF OF ME!  
  
Tron: There is nothing on top of you! Snap out of it!  
  
Bon: Babubu! (Translation: I think I'll go get some cheese now.) (Bon leaves for the kitchen.)  
  
Servbot #26: Something's wrong with Master Teisel!  
  
Servbot #11: He's never acted this way before.  
  
Servbot #31: Miss Tron, what should we do?  
  
Tron: Don't worry, Teisel's probably just jealous because I came up with a plan and he didn't.he'll be back to normal tomorrow!  
  
Servbot #6: I hope you're right, Miss Tron!  
  
Map: I'M THE MAP! I'M THE MAP!  
  
Teisel: Don't tell me.none of you just heard that?  
  
(Everyone shakes their heads and leaves with the exception of Tron.)  
  
Tron: I think you should get some rest. Up to bed!  
  
Teisel: But.the map!  
  
Tron: NOW!  
  
(Teisel trudges out, followed by a bouncing map still under the effect of espresso.)  
  
Map: MAP!  
  
Teisel: SHUT UP!  
  
Tron: What?  
  
Teisel: Nothing.  
  
Tron: .Um.OK.(sweatdrop)  
  
(The Next Morning.)  
  
(Teisel comes downstairs, where #21 is making breakfast for everyone in the cafeteria.)  
  
Teisel: I had an awful night's sleep.That map kept waking me up.  
  
Tron: (groans and rolls her eyes.) Not that map again!  
  
Teisel: You're in luck! I haven't seen it all morning! Now what's for breakfast? I'm starving!  
  
Servbot #21: We made your favorite: Cheese Omelets!  
  
Teisel: I can't wait! (Grabs a plate and sits down.) This smells delicious! (However.just as Teisel is about to take a bite, you-know-who bounces in and eats  
  
Teisel's entire omelet.plate and all!)  
  
Map: I'M THE MAP! (burps.)  
  
Teiesl: AAAUURRRGHHH! THAT.THAT.  
  
Tron: Wow Teisel, you finished that really fast!  
  
Teisel: But.but.but.  
  
Map: I'M THE.  
  
Teisel: DON'T EVEN SAY IT!  
  
Map: MAAAAPPP!  
  
Bon: Babu! (Translation: Yum! Cheese!)  
  
Teisel: Bon, you saw it all, didn't you? You saw the map eat my omelet, didn't you?  
  
Bon: (shakes his head) Babu. (No.)  
  
Tron: Here we go again.Teisel, if that ridiculous MAP really ate your breakfast, go get another omelet.  
  
Teisel: Okay. (gets another omelet. The Map eats this one as well.)  
  
Tron: Let me guess. That map, right?  
  
Map: (grins) I'm the map! (Drinks the cup of espresso he stole from the kitchen.)  
  
Tron: Teisel, I think you should go see a psychiatrist.it's not normal to start seeing talking maps that steal food and that no one else can see.I'm really worried.  
  
Teisel: Are you crazy? We're all wanted on every island in the world! Who'd see me?  
  
Tron: Ok, you've got a point.  
  
Teisel: (Phew! Lucked out on that one.) I just hope it doesn't steal ALL my meals.  
  
Map: I'M THE MAP I'M THE MAP.  
  
Teisel: Oh no.TRON! IT'S SINGING AGAIN! 


	3. Chapter 3: Things get Weird around the G...

Chapter 3: Things get Weird around the Gesselschaft

Chapter 3: Things get Weird around the Gesselschaft

Servbot #36: (who is narrating, by the way.) About three weeks passed since Master Teisel first reported seeing this "map." After a while, we began to get used to it. But all that changed one Wednesday. (Teisel is sitting in his room watching his favorite show. The Map is sitting on the couch.)

Map: I'm the MAP!

Teisel: Shut up I'm missing the good part!

Tron: (knocks on the door.) Teisel, I've baked some cookies! Do you want any?

Teisel: Wha-what did you just say?

Tron: I asked if you wanted any cookies!

Teisel: Oh.for a minute there I thought you said, "I'm the map."

Tron: Why would I say a thing like that?

Teisel: Maybe I was distracted.this is my favorite show, after all.

Tron: Come to think of it, I still don't know what your favorite show is.

Teisel: Um.do you really need to know?

Tron: I'm a bit curious. (Begins to open the door.)

Teisel: NOOOOOOO! (Teisel makes a mad dash for the door, however, the Map dives in front of him and knocks him aside. The door swings open and Tron can be seen staring at the television screen. A second later, she begins to laugh hysterically.)

Tron: Hahahaha.I.hahahahahaha.can't believe.hahahahahaha.you watch.hahahaha.

(On TV) A certain PURPLE DINOSAUR: I love you, you love me, we're a happy family.

(Back in Teisel's room)

Tron: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wait until I tell Bon this!

Teisel: No.don't.

(Tron walks out of the room laughing her head off.)

Teisel: Now look what you've done!

Map: (Grinning.) I'M THE MAP!!

Teisel: Oh well, Barney's over anyway. I'll go see what #28's up to.

Map: Map? (follows Teisel to the Deck, where #28 is playing soccer with #4.)

Servbot #28: Hello Master Teisel! How are you today?

(At this point, the scene freezes and #36 butts in.)

Servbot #36: As of now, to avoid confusion, an asterisk will be placed before a person's name when indicating what Master Teisel is hearing the other characters say. Thank you for your cooperation. (Runs off and everything starts moving again.)

Teisel: Just fine. And you?

Servbot #28: Guess what? I just thought of a new plan and you'll love it!

Servbot #28: Guess what? I'm the map!

Teisel: (Blinks) I'm sorry, could you repeat that, please?

Servbot #28: I said I'm the map!

Teisel: I.don't believe this.my favorite Servbot.trying to make me go crazy.imitating that map.(trying to hold back tears).HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF EVERY DAY YOU WERE TORMENTED BY A MAP NOBODY ELSE COULD SEE?

Servbot #28: (Sniffling) But.Master Teisel.I didn't say anything about a map!

Servbot #28: Map map map map map!

Teisel: AHHHHH! (Grabs #28)

Servbot #28: Master Teisel, what are you doing?

Teisel: Stop this foolishness at once or I'll throw you off the Gesselschaft!

Servbot #28: But I'm not doing anything! I swear!

Servbot #28: MAP!!

Teisel: Sorry, #28.you always were my favorite Servbot.but. (throws him over the side of the deck.)

Map: I'M THE MAP!

Teisel: STOP FOLLOWING ME YOU DUMB MAP! (Attempts to grab the map, but his hands pass right through him.)

Map: I'm the map!

Teisel: Grrrrr.

Tron: Teisel, have you seen #28? He was supposed to be cleaning my room, and since he's your favorite Servbot I thought you might know where he ran off to.

Tron: I'm the map! MAP! MAP!

Map: First you have to go around the big rock.

Teisel: Tron, what are you saying?

Tron: WHERE'S #28?

Tron: I'M THE MAP!?

Teisel: Tron.no, not you too! I need to get away.(Runs down to the engine room, which is currently deserted.) They won't be able to get me here.(laughs insanely.) (All of a sudden.)

Map: (Appears right in front of Teisel's face) I'M THE MAP!!

Teisel: AAHHHHH! I have to get rid of this map somehow!

(All of a sudden, another "map" walks into the room. It's really Bon Bonne.

Bon: Babu! (Hi Teisel! Can I have some cheese?)

Bon: Map!

Teisel: Not another Map! I'm through with you! I'll blow all of you to smithereens! (Pulls out a bazooka and aims it at Bon.)

Bon: Babuuu!! (Teisel, what are you doing? I'm Bon! Your brother! Don't shoot me! I only wanted cheese!)

Teisel: Say good night! (Fires the bazooka. Bon blows up and his head rolls around on the ground like in Mega Man Legends.)

Bon: Ba.bu.

(Teisel runs off with his bazooka with the real Map following him holding a cup of espresso.)

Servbot #36: Master Teisel went on a rampage after that, destroying everyone and everything he saw, thinking it was the map. Soon half the rooms were destroyed and the Gesselschaft was beginning to fall apart. Tron and Bon decided to hold a secret meeting in the remains of Bon's room.

Bon: (whose head was taped back onto his body) Babu. (We need to do something about Teisel before he destroys the Gesselschaft!)

Tron: (Who looked like she did after the Feldynaught and Crabbot Battles) .I need a vacation. (Coughs.)

Bon: Babu! Babu! Babu! (Say, I heard there's this great place called The Nameless Theme Park of Mizarp Township! Maybe we could go there!)

Tron: Great idea! Let's go!

(Tron and Bon gather up all their refractors and head off.)

Servbot #36: Shortly after they left.

(The Gesselschaft is now two planks floating in the sky. On one is Teisel, holding his bazooka and a mini TV. On the other is the Map and the espresso machine. Everything on this board has been blasted except for a small circle around the map and the espresso machine.)

Map: I'M THE MAP!

Teisel: Can it. I'm trying to watch this show.

(On TV) Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to another live episode of Cooking With Rosie! (At this point the old lady from the Kattelox Book Shop walks slowly onto the set.)

Rosie: Alright. Today, we will be making Casserole Surprise. First you take the egg.(Rosie slowly reaches for the egg, finally picks it up, then drops it.) Slippery, these eggs are. (She picks up the egg and slowly drops it into the blender. Even the egg falls in as if in slow-motion.) Now blend the egg in the blender. (She slowly presses the button and the blender begins to spin EXTREMELY SLOWLY-big surprise there.) Now when that's done.you take a bottle of ketchup like so.and squeeze it into the

blender.

(The live audience is asleep. All of a sudden, a brick flies out of nowhere and hits Rosie on the head. Rosie is knocked unconscious and the audience wakes up as the Map hops onto the set.)

Map: MAP!!

(Back at what's left of the Gesselschaft.)

Teisel: (Flips the station) Boring.

(On TV)

Dora: (Walks onstage with Boots.) Hmm.we need to get to the big pointy stick to help Mr. Dung Beetle get to his family.

Boots: But where IS the big pointy stick?

(All of a sudden, a blue cursor flies across the screen and clicks on the side pocket of Dora's backpack.)

Dora: Good thinking! We can find out how to get to the big pointy stick by using the map!

Boots: Say Map! Say Map!

(After a long pause, out of Dora's backpack pops.a roll of toilet paper?)

Toilet Paper: (In a dull voice.) I'm the toilet paper. (A long pause.) I wipe people's butts. (Another long pause. All of a sudden, the blue cursor flies across the screen again and clicks on a question mark that has just appeared at the top of the screen.)

Dora: Um.the map is out on a rampage now, and this is the best replacement we could get.sorry.

Toilet Paper: Okay! I'm not the map! Sue me! Crummy job, #3.(all of a sudden, the screen goes black.)

Announcer: .Instead of our regularly scheduled program, we are proud to bring you today's live episode of Cooking with Rosie.

(Back at the Gesselschaft)

Teisel: (quickly flips the channel.) Seen it.

Servbot #36: While Teisel was busy trying to find a television station that did not show Cooking with Rosie, the news reporters were busy trying to get the latest story on the pirate who went insane and blew up his own ship to rid himself of an invisible pest.

News reporter from the KTOX news: Newscasters around the world are baffled by what has just happened. One of the most dangerous pirates in the world has gone mad. Teisel Bonne, along with his sister Tron and his brother Bon, has been one of the most feared pirates in the past ten years. What could possibly push him into doing such a.strange.thing? We have with us right now one of Teisel's many followers. Mr. #28, could you please tell us what happened?

Servbot #28: (sobbing hysterically).One day.Master Teisel said he saw this talking map.with a face.and it talked..but no one else could see it. Then a few weeks later he thought I was saying, "I'm the Map," but I wasn't! And he.he.threw me out the window! Luckily, this girl in a red hat took me home to her ship and fixed me up.but I'm worried about Master Teisel.

(All of a sudden, the Inspector from the Kattelox police station comes running onto the scene.)

Inspector: Did you say a map with a face?

Servbot #28: Y-yes!

Inspector: That map has been wanted for a long time now. Since nobody can see the Map except those unfortunate few who happen to like the television program "Barney the Dinosaur," as well as cast members of "Dora the Explorer," we have been having trouble tracking him down. But if you could possibly take us up to what's left of the ship, we'll be able to get that Map in the paper shredder where it belongs!"

Roll: If you like, I could take you up there in my ship, the Flutter!

Inspector: That would be great. (They both take off and within minutes capture the Map.)

Map: I'M THE MAP!!

(The Map is hauled away. All of a sudden, a Drache pulls up beside the Gesselschaft. Tron dashes out, followed by Bon.)

Tron: Teisel! (Hugs Teisel) I was so worried! I thought you'd gone insane and were going to blow up everything and we would have had to live in The Nameless Theme Park of Mizarp Township and.

Teisel: Everything's going to be okay from now on.as soon as we make enough money to repair the Gesselschaft, everything will be back to normal!

Bon: Babu! (I want cheese again.)

Tron: I'm glad Teisel's not crazy again too!

Bon: (angrily) Babu, babu, babububu! (I did NOT say anything about Teisel! I said I want cheese!)

(All of a sudden, the KTOX News comes on.)

News Lady: Viewers, we have a special bulletin! (Grabs a piece of paper from offscreen.) It appears that formerly insane pirate Teisel Bonne watches the television program "Barney the Dinosaur." That is all.

Teisel: (Kicks the TV, which explodes on impact.) You did NOT hear that.

Servbot #36: A few months later, the Gesselschaft was rebuilt and the Bonnes were on their way to pillage another unsuspecting island.

Teisel: Alright, prepare to launch the Draches!

Servbots #1-4: Roger!

Tron: You know.I've been thinking about what happened a few months ago and.

Teisel: Shut up. Don't remind me of that.

Tron: But Teisel!

Teisel: TRON!

Tron: I'm just glad everything's turned out all right.

Teisel: Me too. I am NEVER watching Barney again. Now I have a new favorite show.

Tron: I'm afraid.

Bon: Babu! (Yum! This is good cheese!)

(Bon, Tron, and Teisel go their separate ways.)

Teisel: Boy am I glad that's over with.

(All of a sudden.)

A voice not far off: Backpack, backpack! Backpack, backpack!

(Teisel has stopped walking and he's twitching.)

Teisel: Oh noooo.


End file.
